Kerry Hasenbalg

*If you would like a collection of 30 devotions written by Kerry, Steven Curtis Chapman, and others, you can order “Seeds of Change” from Shaohannah’s Hope at cost.  Perfect for group study. Order here >

*Listen to Kerry’s speech at the Christian Alliance for Orphans Summit III. Listen here >

We Are Expecting

"God is able to do immeasurably more than we can ask or imagine." Ephesians

Understanding what it means to have Faith seems a peculiar thing for me in certain situations, particularly when it comes to "believing for the things I really desire in this life to come to pass."  Does being cautiously optimistic mean we are too skeptical and lack faith or does it mean we are not being presumptuous with God?  What is it that I actually believe about great faith?  I believe that God loves us and that He can do anything. 

He created our galaxy with billions of stars and then billions of galaxies beyond our own.  He raised men from the dead and sustains life upon this planet every moment of everyday despite all the forces working against human survival.  God can do anything - nothing is impossible for Him.  My faith in God is great.  I believe in Him for all things.   But when it comes to believing that God will do just as I hope and bring about every circumstance I desperately desire just because I have asked and because I "see" them as "right" and "good"...well, that is not the kind of faith that I possess.  Sure, I believe in the power of speaking life and righteousness in the name of Jesus. I believe there is power in prayer and that we are battling against evils we can not see who seek to harm us.  But I also believe that God in His infinite wisdom with "take away" those things which are not in His plan for us.  I believe He allows crosses and sufferings that are contrary to some of our deepest desires and most earnest prayers for the working out of his plan and purification of our souls - well, basically out of His love for us. Do I understand it? Well, no.  Do I trust Him?  Well, yes. 

So, in light of these thoughts Scott and I have announced this Christmas that we are Expecting.  Expecting a baby.....More like knowing there is currently a precious baby in my womb with a strong heartbeat.  As for expecting....well, we are expecting God to hear our prayers and answer them according to His will and infinite wisdom.  We are expecting the grace to embrace His will. 

The last two times I was pregnant we actually did not tell our other two children about the babies.  At least not until Cole asked me one day, "Mommy how many times have you had a baby in your womb."  I told him six times.  He immediately counted the other four children in heaven and asked me for their names so he could add them to the family tree he was drawing with chalk on our sidewalk.

 This time, we wanted to wait until we were far along enough to be more certain a child would be added to our earthly family and spare them the up and down.  So, after we heard the heartbeat at 9 and 1/2 weeks, we decided to tell our children.  Not only because we had a heartbeat but because we have taken significant steps down the path to adoption.  When we told Cole that I had a baby in my womb, he immediately responded by saying, "Oh mommy, the Lord has blessed u. I am so happy!  This is the best present ever."  

Then he asked what if God takes this one to heaven, too, before they get to be in our family and play with he and Maya.  We, then, told him that we were also starting the adoption process, so that we were pretty confident that over the course of the next year or two the Lord would be putting a child or two, by birth and/or by adoption, into our family.  We currently have peace about walking prayerfully down both paths, giving as much room to God to work in His way in our lives.  We will keep you posted as we feel led.  I do appreciate your prayers.  

Why I love Homeschooling

Here are five new reasons why I love homeschooling (excerpts from my conversations with my son over the last two days of classes).

Reason 1: After watching an animated film about the crucifixion of Jesus Christ yesterday, Cole said, “Since Jesus died for us it is like we won’t end up thrown in the trashcan when we die, we will get recycled instead.”  (That’s one way to put it, I suppose).

Reasons 2: After finishing our reading about the life of Solomon in history class, Cole said, “Mom, I am really looking forward to heaven. When I get there I will hug God first, then I will ask to see the dinosaurs with my own eyes, and then third I will ask him what my special gift is .  Do you think it’s strength like Samson or wisdom like Solomon or something else?”  I said, “I am not sure but perhaps it's wisdom Cole. But no matter what it is very important that we continue to ask for wisdom all along our journey in life.”  Cole responded saying, “Yeah, I think you are right, I do really struggle some with bravery, especially at night time.  Its like the controls in my brain aren’t working as well as they do in the day and it is difficult to capture all my fearful thoughts when it gets dark and late. “  I answered by telling him that I get more emotional at night too, I then explained that I know exactly what he means, and that he, like me, will just have to choose to believe in God’s Word even when our minds are weak and afraid. He said he was grateful to know that even as an adult I struggle sometimes too.

Reason 3: I was then reading Cole some of Solomon’s proverbs so that he would choose one to copy in his journal and memorize.  When I asked, “Honey, which scripture verse do you want to write he said, “How about Second Samuel chapter 22 verse 3.  I said, "We were reading the Proverbs, what made you say that verse in 2 Samuel?”  He answered, “I don’t know mom, I don’t really know if there is a Second Samuel book.”  I said, perhaps God gave you that thought because He has something for us written there, so let’s go and look and see what 2 Samuel chapter 22 verse 3 has to say. 

And the verse reads, “My God is my rock, in whom I find protection. He is my shield, the strength of my salvation, and my stronghold, my high tower, my savior, the one who saves me from violence.” And when I finished reading those words, Cole said with great excitement, “Mom, this is the perfect verse for me.  I am going to write this and learn it and draw a picture about how God protects me to help me when I am afraid and my controls in my brain aren't working so well.” 

Reason 4: During Bible yesterday Cole said, “Do you think God will tell my story in a book for others to read like how we read about David and all the other great people of God. Like maybe a new New Testament or something. “  I answered saying, “I think he will Cole. God writes these books in order to testify through humans of what God is doing for the world through His Son Jesus, and since there is more for Jesus to do, like return and reign, I wouldn’t be surprised if He’s keeping record of our lives for others to read someday. It actually says that he writes each of our names in His book  of life in heaven when we first believe. No matter what is written we do know that He knows and cares about everything going on with each of us.” "That's great mom, Cole answered."

Reason 5: As we finished school today Cole said, “Mom, remember when we were in Nashville and I asked you if God has a wife and you told me that we are all going to be his heavenly bride even if we are boys.  Well, I think how I now understand what this means is that we are his best friends just like a wife is to a husband - like you and dad.  Don’t you think that's what it means mom?”  I answered saying, “Yes, perhaps He is preparing a best friend for himself  - and maybe because He’s lonely.”  Cole responded, “Well, I don’t think he’s lonely since Isabella is with him and all the others who already have gone to heaven; but don’t worry, I know what you are trying to say Mom.” 

I experienced the Grace of God these past two days through the mind, heart, and voice of a precious seven year old little boy whom God has lovingly entrusted to me.  Thank you Lord for showing up for Cole and for me in these ways - You are teaching me so much in these quiet days at home. 

 

 

 

 

Worth the Wait

“I wait for the LORD, my soul waits, and in his word I put my hope.” - Psalm 130:5

It’s been nearly five years now since my husband, Scott, and I first experienced the pain of losing a child through miscarriage. And as hard as it is to put into writing, the reality is we have gone on to experience the pain of losing two more children through miscarriage and yet another little girl through stillbirth since then.

I used to think that the greater testimony of God’s faithfulness in our loss would have been to give us twins the next time around. I have known three women who have experienced such a miracle directly after losing a child. And as wonderful of a testimony as that would have been, that has not been His choosing for us - (at least not yet).  Though I long to have a glimpse of the future, now that I am in a state of waiting to see the beauty that might come from these ashes, I am actually incredibly grateful that God has continued to heal our hearts and remind us that it is his love which keeps us from knowing the details of the future. We only have the grace we need for the future when the future is upon us.

And one of the ways he has comforted us is by reminding us to remember his faithful deeds in the past when our hope of the future is too clouded to “see” clearly. When my faith for tomorrow is weak, I have learned to pray today, “Lord, please bring to mind examples of how you turned ashes into beauty and made the bad things work together for good for us, your people, in times past.”

So, for those of you, who, like me, are currently waiting on the Lord, I want to share a little story which testifies of the faithfulness of our God - who is the same yesterday, today, and forever

While at a Steven Curtis Chapman concert highlighting the need for adoption, a security guard backstage excitedly approached me and said, “Since you’re connected to Shaohannah’s Hope, I want to share with you what God did for my family through adoption” 

“Over 30 years ago,” the man began, “my wife and I wanted to have a child, but we were not able to do so biologically.  We then prayed about adoption and felt led by God to adopt a little boy from South Korea.  However, after filing all our paperwork, we found out that because my wife has been a type I diabetic since childhood we were disqualified from adopting due to current regulations. We were not only emotionally crushed but also confused because we really felt that the Lord had said there was a little boy for us in Korea.  What was God doing?  Had we heard the Shepherd’s voice rightly, we wondered.

Several years later the adoption agency called and said that the regulations had changed in our favor and they had a little boy that we would be eligible to adopt from Korea if we were still interested.  Of course we said ‘yes’, went through the process, and adopted him.

Thirty years after the adoption, my wife became terribly ill as a consequence of her diabetes, and she went into total kidney failure and was put on dialysis.  Every family member was checked to see if any of us were a match for a kidney transplant, but none of us were close enough.  Due to my wife’s condition and age, she was so far down on the transplant priority list that there was basically no chance she would receive a stranger’s kidney.

Our adopted son then asked to be tested as a possible kidney donor; however, knowing that he was adopted, the hospital refused.  He was determined to find out whether his blood type was even compatible with his adoptive mother’s.  Therefore, he went to the local blood bank and gave blood.  Seeing as he had never been sick a day in his life, we didn’t even know his blood type.  And only as God’s sovereignty could design not only was our son a blood match, but when the hospital finally agreed to run him through a series of tests we found that he was in fact a nearly perfect match to his mother for a transplant.  He ended up being his adoptive mother’s kidney donor and saved her life! 

Looking back at the heartache and wait to have children as well as the setbacks we had endured to adopt our son, we can see now that God’s timing and the child he chose for us could not have been more perfect.  God knew exactly how to connect us to the child he created for us.  My wife used to become saddened knowing she had never experienced carrying a baby in her womb; however, after her transplant, she told my son that her greatest joy is that for as long as she lives, she will always carry a part of him within her.”

For those of you who have known grave disappointment and are currently waiting on our Lord to fulfill a deep and godly longing in your souls, I pray that you, too, are encouraged by this testimony of the faithfulness of our very good and loving God. 

“Therefore the Lord will wait, that He may be gracious to you; And therefore He will exalted, that He may have mercy on you.” Isaiah 30:18

Today, we can choose to believe that the God of all mercy knows our desires and is at work fulfilling them in His way and in His time for our blessing and His glory – Let us not forget that His ways are not our ways, but His ways are higher than our ways – He knows the way to bring about the greatest testimony of His faithfulness in our lives.  

“Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but when the desire comes, it is a tree of life.”  -Proverb 13:12

Honoring Authority

“Submit yourselves for the Lord's sake to every authority instituted among men…” -1 Peter 2:13

I was taught to honor my mother and father, but when I left home, for some reason I thought that it was going to be about my own thoughts, decisions, and ideas. When I entered the working world, I really struggled when my bosses didn’t understand that my opinions concerning my work were truly best. And then when I got married, I didn’t have a problem with my husband making the decisions, as long as they were not about things that were in my area of jurisdiction or about which I would know more.

God has been going way out of His way to show me that it is not about my husband or my bosses having complete knowledge, because God does! God sees everything—every circumstance, every motivation of the heart, and God sees the future.  God has placed us under earthly authorities and He has not only the power, but also the great tendency to give knowledge and wisdom to those in authority over us so that they make decisions that are more right than circumstances could ever dictate.  There have been times in my life when I have disagreed with my husband, and all earthly reason seemed to vindicate my position.  Then, as the situation unfolded, I came to find out that my husband had been right all along.

How in the world could he ever have known that? Wow… If only I had listened…obeyed…submitted…to my loving husband: the authority God has clearly given me! God has shown me how he can wisely guide me through my husband even in those things about which he has no knowledge—like the future! As we seek to obey God not just at home, but even more so in the fields of the fatherless, we must honor God through the authorities He has put in place.

Holy Obedience: Order

“Everyone must submit himself to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established. The authorities that exist have been established by God.” –Romans 13:1

Allow me to share that which I learned through the authors of “My daily bread devotional.”

God loves order because order is born of intelligence.  When order is lacking there can only be confusion and destruction.  If I want to please God I must put order into my life.  Not only am I to obey the direct commands of God, but also His indirect commands—that is, the orders which come to me through my lawful superiors. Only if they command what is sinful must I refuse obedience.

All legitimate authority comes from God.  His will is shown to us in every reasonable command of legitimate authority.  In obeying those who have authority over us, we are obeying God.

Obedience will always be a blow to my human pride, unless I make it an act of love for God.  Jesus shows me how this is done.  He became obedient to human superiors to make up for my sins of disobedience and to give me an example of perfect obedience.  Can I refuse to become more like Him?  I do refuse every time I disobey those who have authority over me! We must not go out in service to the orphan without living in obedience to God and in submission to the authorities under whom He has placed us for our own safety.

The End in Mind

“And in him you too are being built together to become a dwelling in which God lives by his Spirit.” –Ephesians 2:22

According to the best-selling book, one of the seven habits of highly effective people is to proceed with the end in mind. God has told us His end goal in order that we would be highly effective in His kingdom work here on earth. He wants a pure bride and a holy and united dwelling in which to live, and we are to be the living stones of this dwelling.

God’s people are to be God’s house, because He told us that He does not dwell in houses made with hands. He dwells in us.  But He requires that His house be found in order.  Much of life and what God is authoring here is intended to be analogous and preparatory of what is to come. And this is why God has given us our own houses, so that we are tested and tried before our own eyes that we may know how we are faring in this preparation. My husband and I were trying to sell our town house in Virginia for more than nine months, and in that time I was responsible to have my house perfectly clean so that anyone could come in and take a look at any time. For me that was a huge task, but by God’s grace I was able to do it nearly every single day.  Every day, that is, except for one.

My son was downstairs, still in his pajamas, watching cartoons, with his toys strewn everywhere.  Our month old baby had just had a bath and I was occupied nursing her in the upstairs bedroom. Suddenly, I heard a click, click, clicking sound on our wooden kitchen floors.  “Is someone there?” I called. My son didn’t even notice—he was so locked into the television. I heard a woman’s voice reply, “Yes, I am showing your house. I called a few minutes ago.” Apparently, while I was in the shower! 

Why God?  I was prepared nearly every day. You knew this would happen; you know everything. What in the world are you trying to say to me?

After several hours, I finally heard what he was trying to say to me:  “For you know neither the day nor the hour in which I shall come.  And on any given day I desire to find your house—my house in order! Are you ready?”

Henry Drummond says the greatest thing we can do for our Heavenly Father is to love some of His other children.  Oh King of Kings, we ask you now, “Who are the children who bear your royal seal?”  And He has answered us, “Those who do my will and those who are without earthly fathers, for I am the Father to the Fatherless.”  May we show our love to God by loving His children, and in doing so, live as the pure Bride and Holy Dwelling God has called us to be, this day and every day!

Love Your Neighbor

“The entire law is summed up in a single command: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’”  –Galatians 5:14

God calls us repeatedly in His Word to love and care for our neighbors in the same way we love and care for ourselves. This kind of order does in fact make practical sense. With our neighbors, we are able to see with our eyes and personally experience their needs, thus we can understand those needs in the context of their life and community. We are then better able to meet their needs and to come to their aid more promptly, efficiently, and in way that can be sustained. As Proverbs says, “Better a friend nearby than a brother far away!” 

I am not saying that we are only to care for those right in front of us, but rather that we are most assuredly to care for those right in front of us first. Just as the old adage goes, “Charity begins at home.”  If you can not love and forgive those at home, you will not be able to love and longsuffer with those in need elsewhere. In First John, God’s people are asked, “How can you love those whom you have not seen if you can not love those whom you have seen?” God’s people are to first begin their service in Judea, and when we have been responsible there, God will lead us on to Samaria and even to the uttermost parts of the world. That is God’s order, and order matters greatly to God.

Before we look to travel the seas, let us take a look in home and in our communities, and ask God if our personal house is in order first.  In other words, are we meeting the needs of our own households and that of our neighbors.

While I was growing up, my father worked as a public defender for many years in a small community in Pennsylvania. He served as the attorney for children and youth, and he also processed private adoptions for families by giving his services free of charge.  My father never had the chance to go on a mission trip. He loved my mom, provided for his kids, and served the people of Pennsylvania with integrity all of my life.  Two weeks ago my father traveled to Honduras with a delegation of adoption experts and took part in sharing with government officials his thoughts on serving vulnerable children. His experience up to that point was limited to caring for the fatherless in central Pennsylvania. That’s how it so often works. Just as God is in the business of doing, He lifted up a man who was responsible to care for those in front of him, and God expanded his territory.

When I look back at my own life and how I have had opportunities to serve the poor and needy in the uttermost parts, I realize that my work met with success only after I had first cared for those in front of me.  Before God ever sent me to Russia to care for widows and orphans, he called me to meet once a week for ten years with an 80-year-old Russian widow in my own hometown—to sit at her feet and learn from her. I always thought it was about me learning Russian, but God has shown me since that it was really about bringing joy to the widow at home. I also learned from her invaluable insights on understanding the pains of her land so that I would be able to minister more effectively there. And before I ever took part in any of the changes in Northern Uganda, God first called me to be at home, loving my husband and children. If we do not love those near to us, how can we expect to love those who are far away?

Spotless

“…just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to Himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.” –Ephesians 5:25-27

If you have spent even a short time in the orphan and adoption field of ministry, you have undoubtedly heard the scripture verse found in James 1:27, “Pure and undefiled religion that God our Father accepts is the care for orphans and widows in their trouble and to keep oneself unspotted by the world.” Although it is the most quoted passage in the Christian adoption community, I believe it is one of the least practiced.  Allow me to explain.

I am now recalling how on this one occasion a dear friend of mine was out leading a four-wheeling expedition in the mountains near our home. Immediately following the outing, he came to our house to lead a small group Bible Study. When he arrived, he started talking to me in my kitchen about the study he was about to teach, but it was very difficult for me to take him seriously because he had black splotches of mud on his face. He either didn’t realize the mud was there or simply didn’t mind, and he would have left it on his face had I not said something to him.  Perhaps because many of the others who were in that room also had gone four-wheeling and were covered in mud, it just seemed normal and was not out of place.  But because I was clean and freshly showered, it seemed to me to be quite silly.  How often are we like that—not even realizing we look foolish because all around us there are others who look just as dirty or worse? The Word says that those who compare themselves to themselves are not wise.

Psalm 1:1 reveals that there truly is a progression of becoming more and more like the world and that it is possible to not even realize it is happening.  “Blessed is the man that walks not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor stands in the way of sinners, nor sits in the seat of the scoffers.” Walking, stopping and standing, and finally sitting down. It starts by just taking a bit of worldly counsel, moves to taking on some of the world’s ways, and ends with us taking our place at the table to dine, completely comfortable in lives that displease God.

Much of the church is filled with man-pleasers who are unwilling to point out the mud that has splattered on our faces in the course of life, and too many are more interested in being liked and accepted by men than being accepted by God.  Yet, the Word reveals that God is preparing an acceptable Bride, without spot or blemish, to present to His Son!  This is not about being perfect, it is about recognizing the mud on our faces and confessing our sins to a God who declares that he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

Caring for orphans and widows and being unspotted by the world is not an either/or option. Some ask why has the evangelical church not stepped up to care for orphans and widows, but let us also ask ourselves, “Why have those who have stepped up for orphans not chosen to be have the muddy spots of the world continually cleansed by God?” Is it the God of mammon we are busy worshipping? Is it that envy, competition, or selfish ambition are present? Or is it that we are not even aware that we are dirty because we are hard pressed to find someone among us who is choosing to be set apart unto Holiness? I used to think I was very generous, until I realized that I was comparing myself to those who were stingy.  Let us not compare ourselves to one another, for God has given us the great example, His Son, Jesus!

They Fall Through Fingers

“No, from childhood I have cared for orphans like a father…” –Job 31:18

Spend some time talking to child welfare professionals or government representatives about children who are repeatedly abused and neglected in state run systems, those lost in foster care or group homes, or those who died on the streets, and you will most assuredly hear them say “they just fell through the cracks.” 

A wise woman I used to work for on Capitol Hill once said, “These children do not fall through cracks; they fall through fingers.”

Although this Senator was speaking in the context of government failure, we must understand that God never entrusted the Fatherless to government. Almighty God, the One who calls himself the Father of the Fatherless, entrusted them to His bride, those of us who make up His church, and He asked us to hold on to them for Him as His loving Hands extended.

You see – we must understand clearly that from God’s perspective, the fingers through which these children are falling… are our own!

How will we respond?

Blindness Part II- Frozen by Fear

“But now, this is what the LORD says— he who created you, O Jacob, he who formed you, O Israel: ‘Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. For I am the LORD, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior;’ ” –Isaiah 43:1-3a

What blinds us from truly seeing orphans as God sees them? Though we may have encountered orphans in distress before, or simply seen their images on the news, we rarely see them as beloved children of God who are also members of our family and part of our extended body.

Are we blinded by fear? Is it a sense of being overwhelmed by the need?  143 million fatherless kids—is such a great need simply too much for us to comprehend that we become paralyzed? Do we believe the lie that says nothing we do will have any real impact?   

Or are we afraid of being broken in ways that we do not want to be broken? Is it that we think that these kids’ lives are damaged, and we don’t want that messing up our carefully manicured and safe lives?  Are we afraid of what God is going to demand of us if we truly engage? Jesus Himself took on our brokenness. It cost Him, and He never condemned us and never feared to take on the baggage that we brought. We must not fear what God would bring to us through these children if God is leading us to them. The Lord our God who summoned us by name will be with us every step of the way.